My New Love Affair (It's Not What You Think!)

I've fallen head-over-heels in love with cloth diapers.

I want to shout it from the mountain tops. I want to share the benefits with every parent out there who has ever suffered massive poo-splosion blowouts that destroy outfits. I want to tell every person I meet about the wonders of a massive poo-splosion that didn't even make it to my son's clothing.

Okay, that last one makes it sound like I have a problem.

Edgar started off, for the first 6 months of his life, in disposable diapers. Now, because he's massive and growing like a weed (albeit a very cute weed), he would outgrow a diaper size about once a month to month-and-a-half. Whenever I tried to buy more than one box of diapers at a time, he'd outgrow that size within the next week or so, wasting money. We were subjected to daily poo leaks that would destroy my favourites of Edgar's outfits without discrimination. When moms from Edgar's birth class group mentioned they did not have a single blowout after they started cloth diapering, my ears perked up.

Like many moms, I had my doubts about cloth diapering, many of which were myths. The more I looked into it and the more reviews I had read that were written by real parents, the more I began to feel that it might work for us. It was so confusing, though, with all the new terminology. AIO, AI2, pockets, prefolds, flats, Snappis, diaper sprayers, wet bags, doublers, inserts... the list went on and on. On a night when I just couldn't fall asleep anyway, I spent hours researching and learned as much as I could about cloth diapers without seeing one in person.

One slushy April day, K and I made a trip down to Babes in Arms to check out the diapers and make my first purchase. I walked into that store fully intending to go the route of the AIO (all-in-one) diaper, but seeing the diapers in person made me question my choice. After a lovely demonstration by one of the employees and weighing the pros and cons, I decided to go with prefolds and covers. Because it’s the one I have the most experience with now, I’ll discuss prefolds and covers. If you want information about AIO, AI2 (all-in-two), or pocket diapers, try this video as a starting point.


An organic cotton overnight prefold by Flip (left) and a generic organic Indian cotton prefold (right).

Prefolds look more like a traditional cloth diaper (flats), but have seams sewn in to allow for easier folding. They are much less expensive than the AIOs ($20+ a piece for AIO over $4.75 a piece for a prefold), so if they are accidentally ruined it's not too much of a loss. That, and prefolds last longer than other options and can take more abuse. They do take more work to fasten, and they don't come with covers, but it's a decent trade-off. Learning how to fold them was a bit of a learning curve, but I’ll get into that later.

From top left to bottom right: Blueberry, Best Bottom, Blueberry again, and Rumparooz

 Speaking of covers, aren’t these the cutest?

Covers, in the sense of prefolds and flats, are meant to keep everything from coming in contact with the outside world. There are many brands and styles. I prefer the ones with gussets in the leg-holes because they add an extra layer of protection, especially since Edgar has massive thunder thighs. Covers will run anywhere between $5 all the way up to $22, and different styles work better for different babies. Covers (and some brands of AIO, AI2, and pockets) come in two main options: sized or OS (one-size). One size can be used from about 8lbs all the way up to 30-40lbs depending on the brand, meaning they can be used again and again for baby after baby. With Edgar, I’ve liked one-size Rumparooz the best so far.


The one-size diapers use systems of snaps that can be adjusted to fit all sorts of sizes of babies; whether long and thing, or short and chunky... or long and chunky like Edgar.


“How then, do you fold these mystical prefolds?” you ask?

Like this.

This is an “Angel Wing” fold. I’ve found it works best with Edgar’s tendency to hold onto poo until it’s a massive poo-splosion. There's all sorts of different folds, and here's a selection of them in demontration videos. 

I start off by laying out my prefold as best I can with a squirmy baby and folding it into what is called a “trifold”... yes, folding into three. Sometimes, if I’m lazy and know that Edgar’s already pooped for the day, I’ll stop here and stuff that into a cover. In this case, I’ve recruited a semi-willing, pedophile-free teddy to demonstrate.

A length-wise trifold.
  Next, I open up the sides about half-way up and tuck down the top of the prefold.




It’s at this point that I slide the prefold under Edgar’s bum. If I wanted to add an insert or doubler at this point to increase absorbency, I would do so at this point; I’d just lay it inside the middle of the prefold underneath baby. We aren’t doing that today, so I’ll continue to the next step.



 Now, I bring up the front part of the prefold. This is sometimes easier said than done with a squirming baby, but it gets done eventually.



 Flare out the sides of the front and bring up the back sides so that they overlap.


It’s now that the diaper needs to be pinned. This wonderful invention, called a Snappi, is a safer alternative that takes no time at all to attach. Once it’s on, the diaper is ready for a cover.
My new best friend, the Snappi. They come in many colours, but I stuck with white and mint. The teeth grip the diaper without the need to use pins!

Held, and then Snappi'd
  
All covered up!

 All done! Easy... well, sort of easy. It’s definitely easier to do on a teddy than on a rolling, squirming baby that wants to grab the curtains beside the changing table.



Edgar sure looks adorable in them, though, and that helps!

Helpful Resources:

Cloth Diapering 101 (Video, 7-part series)
Caterpillar Baby (Where I buy my diapers/supplies)
Types of Cloth Diapers and How to Use Them (Video)
FAQ Cloth Diapering (by Bummis, a cloth diaper brand)

Breaking Point

I'll be honest.

I had originally planned to type up a wonderful blog post about my new love affair with cloth diapering, but when I woke up this morning I just couldn't do it.

I couldn't bring myself to do it today.

That's it. I'm fed up with all the expectations and weight placed on new mothers today. My baby is happy and healthy, what more do you want?


Dr. Sears.

I have a bone to pick with Dr. Sears. Yes, he has some good points. And yes, I started off fairly attachment-parenting orientated. However, when I started exclusively pumping I began to see the guilt-inducing tone in so many of his articles.

It starts off like this:
"You should do whatever works best for your baby..."

And by the end, more often than not, it turns into some smarmy version of:
"... but if you don't do this, this, and this, you'll screw up your child for life."

I don't need that kind of guilt and negativity. No parent does. Sure, I want what is best for my child just as much as the next mom, but I need my own sanity as well. I bottle-feed because I must. I am in the process of sleep-training because it has become necessary.
  
So what am I trying to say?

The main reason I just had to get this out into the universe today is because of me hitting my breaking point the other night. Edgar is six months old now. Since his 4-month sleep regression, his sleep pattern had been getting progressively worse and worse. I tried everything.

I tried being gentle. I tried no-cry and pick-up-put-down methods. I tried just going with it and feeding him whenever he woke up. You know what? It just made things worse. Sure, it might work for some moms and babies, but it didn't work for me and Edgar. Finally, the other night, he woke up five times in the night.

I know that it's a good thing to want to comfort your child and do everything for them, but there's something to be said about mama's sanity.

After researching into the Ferber method, DH and I decided that this would be the method that would most likely work out best for all of us should more gentle methods fail us. And fail us they did.

There is one major misconception about the Ferber method. Many believe that it means simply placing the baby awake in the crib and just leaving them there. In actuality, it's a "progressive waiting" approach. I do all the same things I would normally do with Edgar at bedtime (bath, book, and bottle) and then when he is drowsy but not asleep I place him in his bed. After specified intervals (on first night it's 3, 5, and then 10 minutes), I can go in and quietly reassure him, rub his tummy and/or head, put his pacifier back in, and then leave. This continues until baby falls asleep.

I did make a small venture into this method a month ago, but Edgar was clearly not ready to be sleep-trained at that point. He was exceedingly clingy the next day and I just didn’t feel that he was quite ready to enter into sleep training. Last night, however, he fell asleep within the first 10-minute interval and only woke twice early on in the night, both before I was even about to head to bed. Each of those times, he fell asleep a little more quickly than the previous. Edgar then slept through the night until 6:50AM. When he woke up this morning, he was more rested than I had seen him in months, drank a normal-sized bottle, and went right into playing as though nothing different had happened.

Despite this apparent initial success, I still felt unsure about “Ferberizing” because of the stigma it carries... until I came across this piece of writing that poked holes in Dr. Sears' reasons to not use CIO ("Cry It Out"). It was an eye opener. There were many more sources (like this and this) scattered across the interwebs. All of this was reassuring me that we were making the right decision for Edgar. It might not be right for every baby or parent, but it works for us.

When it comes down to it, there's really no discernable difference in the long term if parents use the Ferber method, as long as their children aren't actually being neglected. Sure, it's difficult to hear my baby cry, but I know that he is fed, dry, and ready (and needing) to sleep and to learn how to fall asleep on his own.

I'd rather have both of us rested and sane after a short period of crying, than exhausted and being short with my son as I try to soothe his cries all night long.

Some mothers can handle the exhaustion and still be happy and cheerful in the morning when their baby gets up every few hours every single night for years on end. Bless you. Good on you. If they bottled a magic potion that allowed everyone to do that, I'm sure that the pharmaceutical companies would be all over it, and that it'd be popular with the partying crowd. Hell, I’d buy a bottle of it.

Until then, Dr. Sears can go suck on a lemon.

Unless he likes lemons. Then he can go suck on something else.