... I am filled with joy. I cannot help but smile and laugh at the faces and sounds he makes. Even when he's crying or misbehaving, he is too adorable for me to hold it in at times.
Sometimes, when I look at my son...
... I am filled with pride. He is growing so fast and changing in ways that amaze me each and every day. I cannot wait to witness the person he becomes someday.
Sometimes, when I look at my son...
... I am filled with frustration. Without words, it is so difficult to know exactly what he wants and needs, and my instincts push me to try to figure it out. He is such a little person and yet such a strong, forceful, little man at times.
Sometimes, when I look at my son...
... I am filled with grief. There are people in my life that have passed and I wish so deeply that they could have lived to meet my son and see how much he has touched my life.
Sometimes, when I look at my son...
... I am filled with sadness. Someday, we will have to leave each other. While I wish that he lives long after I pass, I know he will have to someday go through the pain of losing his mother and father, and that I will not be there to comfort him when I am gone.
Sometimes, when I look at my son...
... I am filled with a sense of deja vu. I cannot help but feel that, at some other time and some other place, we have met before. I have been told before I am an "old soul", and some have told me that my son is as well. It may sound strange, but part of me just feels that we have done this all before.
Sometimes, when I look at my son...
... I amfilled with a sense of belonging. Mothers have done this over and over many years before me. My own great-grandmother, grandmother, and mother have each held their own firstborn and looked down at him or her with love and the same emotions that I feel now.
Every time, when I look at my son...
...I am filled with love. Love so deep I wonder at how I could ever have lived without his little hands in mine. How I could have ever lived without his toothless smile that is given without reservation at even the smallest of things. How I could have ever lived without this amazing responsibility that challenges me every day to become a stronger, more rounded person every day.
Hello folks, and Happy New Year! We have a full blog post today, so I may as well jump right into it.
Holidays
This year was the first time we didn't spend Christmas back home in Vancouver. It was also Edgar's first Christmas. Compared to last year, this year was quiet. DH had taken the last of his vacation time left for the year so that he wouldn't have to work from Christmas Eve until after New Year's Day. We only went to DH's cousins' houses for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. While nice, it was nothing like being back at home.
The afternoon of Christmas Eve, I was making my special coleslaw for Christmas Day, but I accidentally sliced my thumb open on the mandoline while cutting up the cabbage. We drove out to the clinic because both DH and I were unsure if it needed stitches. It happened to occur right in the middle of one of Edgar's feeds, and we had to pack both him and the bottle up to rush out the door. Thankfully, it didn't need stitches, and we were still able to make it to Christmas Eve dinner at a decent time. Even so, I don't think I'll be making coleslaw for quite some time; I can't even go near the mandoline right now without feeling freaked out a bit.
Christmas morning was a pretty normal morning for us, as Edgar's still too young to really understand what is going on. I'm really looking forward to next year when Edgar is going to be able to have some fun on Christmas morning and actually open his presents. That evening, we went to DH's cousin's house for dinner. DH's cousin had a lot of people over, and Edgar was passed around to plenty of people eager to hold him. I felt pretty darn proud of my cute, chubby boy.
Chicks dig the double chin, man.
Having DH at home for the week has been a good thing, especially since I couldn't get my injured thumb wet at all (which made diaper changes kind of difficult for me). It gave us the chance to get our apartment cleaned up a bit. I've also just started trying to pick up exercising after having not exercised since fairly early on in my pregnancy. I'm really looking forward to shedding the pounds that I have left over from pregnancy (about 15 lbs remain of the original 51 lbs gained), and I'm hoping to be at least 10 lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight before the next time around. I was already overweight to begin with, and I'm fairly certain the extra weight and being out of shape made the pregnancy and the recovery a little more difficult than it could have been. As such, I would like to be a bit healthier and more in-shape before carrying another baby. Wish me good luck!
40 weeks vs. 2 weeks post-partum. I've kind of hit a plateau with 15 lbs left to go before pre-pregnancy weight.
On December 31st, we woke up to discover all three of us had colds. DH had the worst of it, I had a normal cold, and Edgar had a touch of the same cold that we had. Thankfully, we're both on the mend and Edgar seems pretty normal other than being upset a little more easily, needing more cuddling than usual, and a stuffy nose.
As such, we also had a quiet New Year's Eve. We stayed home, watched some shows on Netflix (we don't have cable; that's a story for another time), and called each of our sets of parents to wish them a happy New Year. The next big things for us this month are my birthday on January 7th, and our visit to Vancouver from January 29th to February 4th/8th. Here's hoping this year is better than the last!
Ergobaby Swaddler
Edgar has never been able to sleep well in his crib without being swaddled. Problem is, he is quite a bit bigger than the average newborn and was breaking out of his SwaddleMe. We'd go to pick him up from a nap and there would be an arm or two sticking out by his face. Sometimes, he'd even wake himself up because he had broken out. Even worse, sometimes I'd find him rolled onto his side because he used the leverage that he back of the swaddler to roll over.
Another problem was that he runs quite warm. As such, when we tried the SleepSack Swaddler by Halo, which is made of fleece, it was making him so hot that he was drenched in sweat each time I went to pick him up after a nap.
He also couldn't stand having his arms by his sides, which is the position in which most swaddlers seem to put babies' arms in order to work effectively.
One day, while researching baby carriers, I came across the Ergobaby Swaddler. It seemed like, from the video, that it would solve the problems we were having with other swaddlers.
After consulting with DH, we decided to wait a little while. Then, when DH crawled into bed after having another "fun" session of trying to get Edgar into the SwaddleMe, he gave me the go-ahead to order the Ergobaby Swaddler. When it arrived, it became clear that this product was going to make bedtimes and naptimes a lot easier. The fabric is of good thickness without being too warm, and the velcro, which had been a problem with the SwaddleMe, was of much higher quality even though it was still "baby safe" velcro.
The washing instructions were a little vague, but I just washed it as we do with all of Edgar's clothes: cold water regular cycle and automatic dry on high heat. It seems to come out okay with that, but takes a little while longer than regular laundry because the velcro parts need to be fastened to each other while being cleaned.
The first time we swaddled Edgar with this, he loved it. He doesn't fight quite as much as he did in the other swaddlers, nor does he overheat. It's also much easier to carry him around with his arms not being at his sides. It's miles ahead of any of the other swaddlers we've used. The only downsides are the drying time and the fact that it's a little difficult to adjust on the fly, as one of the arm parts goes under him.
Overall, I give the Ergobaby Swaddler a 9.5/10. Not perfect, but pretty darn close.
Brown Rice Pudding
We had some extra brown rice kicking around, so I decided that I wanted to make some rice pudding. I found this recipe online, and it was really good. I did follow the reviews and halved the syrup and used only 1/2 cup raisins (1-2 cups is just ridiculous). Even so, it was still a little too sweet for me. I might lower the amount of syrup next time. I also used soy milk instead of regular milk, and it still turned out nicely.
Ingredients
2 cups cooked whole grain brown rice
1 1/2 cups milk
1/2 cup syrup or honey (I did 1/4 cup, as mentioned above)
1/2 cup raisins (optional)
1 tbsp unsalted butter
1 tsp ground cinnamon, nutmeg, or allspice (I used 1/2 tsp each of cinnamon and nutmeg)
Directions
In medium saucepan, combine rice, milk, syrup (and raisins, if including them), and bring to boil.
Reduce heat & simmer 20 minutes, stirring frequently.
Remove from heat & stir in butter & cinnamon.
If desired, garnish with additional cinnamon.
