Guest Post: My Nephew's Birth Story!

My sister, Kaitlyn, gave birth to her little not-so-little boy back in August, and approached me the other day to share her birth story. And of course I said YES! I am delighted to present to you: Anders' Birth Story.



Kaitlyn:

I thought I should write down Anders' birth story so I could look back and remember everything in detail or as much detail as I can remember! This is my account of how things went; there are moments that seem hazy but I'm sure if you ask my mom or Chris they will gladly fill in the blanks! I was a little hesitant to share my experience just because people can be judgmental and it was quite traumatic for me. I recently felt empowered from it and have seen the beauty in the pain.

Shall we begin at 41 weeks?

Yes, I went past my due date, surprise surprise! We had lots of wonderful visitors from B.C., my mom included. We spent the last few weeks walking, walking, and walking some more. I think I walked more those last few weeks than my entire life. When we went for my last prenatal check up I was still only 1 cm dilated. I was quite disappointed and VERY big. Chris and I made the decision to be induced.

On August 25th I went in for a Foley Bulb. If you have never heard of this or experienced it, you are extremely fortunate. Let's just say it's the epitome of uncomfortable. I was scheduled to return the following morning to begin pitocin and have my water broken if things did not progress. However that pleasant little balloon did its job and at 7:30pm that night my contractions began.

At around 2am they were 4-5 minutes apart and a trickle of my water had begun. We headed out to the hospital! We laugh about it now but I had asked my mom if this is what it would feel like for the most part. Bless her heart, she lied and said yes.

Chris drove, missing every pothole and bump. When we arrived at the hospital, I was still only 3 cm dilated. The doctor told me to go home and wait till I felt more pressure. The nurse however said to walk around the hospital for a while and see how things go. I seriously love my family; I walked slowly around the hospital followed by my support group: Chris, my mom, Chris' mom, Aunty Tammy, and Jessica at 3am!

Only 30 minutes later I was back upstairs. Thank goodness I hadn't gone home. I guess everyone was really busy last winter because it was packed in there! I spent from 4am – noon the following day in triage. My contractions were very close together from the get go and it really all seems like a haze. The only thing that kept me in the zone was focusing on my breathing. My very, very loud breathing. The hardest part of having a hospital birth was being in the triage area waiting for a room. I was only allowed one of my support people which meant my mom was left out in the waiting room not really knowing what was going on. At one point my mom snuck in... only to get caught and sent back out.

Finally, at noon I got a room! It was my little oasis in this sea of madness! I labored for 6 more hours, again my contractions basically on top of each other. Chris was wonderful and stayed with me the whole time massaging my back. His poor fingers... and I'm not being sarcastic! It was a very long time and he was pressing pretty hard. Before going into labour I had made up my mind to go into giving birth with an open mind. If I needed pain medication great if I didn't great! I tried some gas which only made me feel light headed. Then after a few more hours I asked for something else, they gave me some fentanyl which only made me sleepy. At this point I would faze out, wake up have a contraction, faze out, have a contraction. I felt like Goldilocks, I needed to find some pain relief that was just right.

At this point I was feeling the urge to push however I was only 7 cm dilated. That was pure hell. It was hard to focus and fighting the urge to push was horrendous. I can't even find the words to describe it. If you have gone through it, you know what I'm talking about ladies! I caved and asked for an epidural. Hallelujah! Best decision of my life right there! Shortly after I fell asleep and napped for what felt like 2 hours.

When I woke up and said this to my mom she laughed and said I was asleep for 15 minutes. I felt like I was in some crazy time warp.

I was finally able to focus again! It was a shift change time for my team and I got a new nurse and doctor. I went to a maternity clinic with a doctor rotation. Over the course of my pregnancy, I had met all the doctors and they all worked in shifts at the hospital. We're at about an hour later and it's time to push! I honestly felt like I was pushing for only 15 minutes but really it was 2 hours. Again, crazy labour time warp. Nothing, nothing, prepares you for that ring of fire. Oh my word! I actually really enjoyed the pushing part of labour though. It was the home stretch. Where I could really focus and work at bringing my beautiful baby into this world. My mom was a great focus point. She really helped with the counting and keeping me in the zone. I feel so blessed I was able to have her there.

This is where things get scary. I remember things being okay and then all of sudden they weren't. It's hard to describe. Apparently, a code was called. The doctor yelled "shoulders!" Chris thought this meant grab my shoulders so he pinned my shoulders down. The room filled with people! People were yelling at me to push, nurses were pushing on my stomach, the doctor was working her magic and finally he was out!

Silence.

That's all I heard, the silence was burning my ears. The nurses started telling me I did amazing, I did my best. What did that mean? I remember asking if he was okay.

Finally cries! My baby was okay. His shoulder had gotten stuck, hence "shoulders" being called. The nurses checked him out and finally after what seemed like forever I was able to meet my baby.

My 9 lbs, 52.5 cm, perfect baby boy.

My heart will never be the same. The unconditional love is just indescribable. He was having some trouble breathing and because I had been in labour for over 24 hours after my water breaking he had to be taken to the NICU. They also noticed he had a coloboma. I think it looks pretty sweet and it makes him very unique. We recently went to an ophthalmologist and it does not affect his eye sight at all!

I truly believe everything happens the exact way it is supposed to. The doctor I had after the shift change had worked in the Yukon and was very experienced in emergency situations. The nurse we had was amazing! She insisted that the NICU team be present when he was delivered because I had been given fentanyl. The NICU team being there was key in safely delivering Anders. The nurse was very calm yet assertive when Anders got stuck.

This definitely wasn't how I had imagined my labour experience to go but I honestly wouldn't change a thing. 26.5 hours later I had my beautiful healthy baby and that is all that matters. I am forever changed. I truly love being a mom.

2015: A Full Year

What can I say about this past year? What words could I use to contain its breadth? When I think about this past year, I feel a rush of images in my mind, both positive and negative. None of them are forgettable. Our running motto has been "It could always get worse!"

I started off 2015 heavily pregnant. We didn't know the sex of our baby, and were delighted when our Arthur made his appearance in February. As the delight and newness began to sink in, however, something more painful took hold.

Within 2 weeks after Arthur's birth, I was so anxious that I was shoulder-checking in our own house. I was crying constantly because of anxiety, worry, and intrusive thoughts. I had post-partum depression and anxiety. I had been so terrified of this scenario, and I had thought that succeeding in establishing breastfeeding would have prevented it from happening. Not so. A month or so later, my referral went through and I saw a psychiatrist for the first time in 8 years. I was officially diagnosed and began medication and counselling. It was not until Arthur was about 6 months old that I finally started to feel like I was bonding with him and began to feel more like myself for the first time in ages. I have since wrapped up counselling and am still on medication for the moment.

I've had to learn the art of self-care and taking time to focus on myself. It's not selfish. In fact, it's the opposite; by making sure that I take the time to care for myself, I am ensuring that I can have the mental and emotional resources to care for my boys. I learned to accept my past and to face memories that I had buried away. I learned that it's okay to be angry; there are some things that are wrong. I learned that it's okay to say that I'm not okay, and that admitting that I'm not okay is the first step to making things better.

During the time around my first psychiatrist appointment, the source of my joint pain was finally diagnosed as joint hypermobility syndrome. I started physiotherapy and began to see my daily pain level reduce to next to nothing. I had my very first pain-free day in 6 years. I feel amazing, and have been losing weight thanks to the more active lifestyle I'm now able to have.

Another change that helped us to have a more active lifestyle is our move to Didsbury. In July, we bought our very first house. It is a 3-bedroom townhouse with a full unfinished basement. It's not perfect, but it got us into the housing market and out of renting. Didsbury's only "fast food" restaurant is a single Tim Hortons. There's no late-night food options other than cooking at home. Everything is within walking distance of our house. There's a 5km trail loop only an 8-minute walk from our house. The air out here is noticeably more clear, and there's a simple kind of beauty in farmland.

That being said, it hasn't all been rosy in our new house. There's been some annoyances along the way. We had our dryer break down the very first cycle we tried to dry! We had a mouse. Twice. Our minivan stopped working briefly, but it was an easy fix. Cy broke his finger. Our fridge recently stopped working and we're waiting on a replacement part to arrive. Small things, really, in the grand scheme of things.

I picked up quilting. It's been a steep learning curve, but I really enjoy it in my little bit of free time that I do have.

In August, Edgar started daycare here in Didsbury. He's loving it and I get a chance to take care of housework and coursework during the 2 days that he's having an absolute blast at daycare.

Thanksgiving was spent back in Vancouver. The trip was a perfect balance of seeing family and making sure to rest in-between. We drove. Yes, we did a 13-hour road trip with 2 boys under 2 years old. It actually wasn't too bad of a drive, and the boys slept a decent amount of the time because we left extremely early in the morning. I loved seeing friends and family again, and I feel like it helped to ground me in preparation for the next couple of months ahead.

In November, I started the first course in SAIT's Library Information Technology diploma program. The course wraps up in February, and so far I am acing it. Literally. I have only lost a little over 2% total from my final mark and only have my final exam and final assignment to go. It seems that I have finally found my career calling, and I'm loving the outlook for the future it's given me. I started off in the part-time program, and in Fall 2016 I will be switching to the full-time program to which I was recently accepted.

This year also had a couple health scares for the boys. Edgar had his very first allergic reaction to peanuts in June. After allergy testing, it was determined that his next reaction from ingesting peanuts would likely be anaphylactic. He now carries an epipen everywhere he goes. We are now a peanut-free household. Arthur had a 10-minute long febrile seizure in November. The initial fever was caused by a childhood illness called roseola and he recovered just fine after a short stay at Alberta Children's Hospital. While his EEG was normal, we do have to keep a close eye on him any time that he develops a fever from now on. Because he was so young and he seized for so long, the probability of him having another febrile seizure before he turns 5 years old is 40% or higher if he has a fever spike. Thankfully, febrile seizures do not do damage to the developing brain, and even one of the amazing doctors that treated him at ACH had them as a child!

The Fall months were spent with all of us in varying degrees of illness. Whether it was ear infections, strep throat, colds, or random stomach bugs... we got all of it. Kids are such germ factories! We were all sick and miserable at points, but thank goodness that it all was fleeting.

Christmas this year was a quiet affair for us. Kait, Chris, and Anders had gone back to Vancouver for Christmas, so it was just us in town. The boys received presents from family and a few small ones from us. I made them sort of matching quilts. We didn't go anywhere, and had a quiet day at home with just the boys and us.

Our motto this year, whenever things were going wrong, was "It could always get worse!" Yes, yes it can. Things can always get better, and that's okay. Things can also always get worse. We aren't super well-off, and we don't live like kings, but we have a house and our boys and each other. That's more than a lot of people have. We have friends and family who have supported and encouraged us in the difficult times this past year. We now own a house and are slowly paying down debt. We have two beautiful boys. Marriage takes work, but at the end of the day I am married to my best friend. We still laugh about stupid things together.

What does 2016 have in store for us? Well, there are lots of things to look forward to:

• Finishing my first course at the end of January and starting my next couple of courses in March
• Another Vancouver trip at the beginning of February
• Arthur's first birthday
• Our 4th wedding anniversary
• Two weddings
• Friends expecting new little ones
• Starting full-time courses in Fall
• Edgar turning three in November
• Potty training Edgar at some point
• Arthur starting to learn to talk this year

2015 has left me refreshed, renewed, and ready to take on the world.

Bring it on, 2016. 

Life With Two Under Two ("It can always get worse!")

Hi folks! I promise I haven't forgotten about my blog; I've just been so busy that I haven't gotten around to updating about our life lately. Since I last blogged, my boys have grown a bunch, we bought a townhouse and moved, Arthur started solids, Edgar started daycare two days a week, and we've decided to visit family in Vancouver in October!

The Townhouse and the Move
We discovered in late April that there was a possibility that we might be able to barely squeak into the housing market and buy our own house. The months of May and June became occupied with the quest to see what we could possibly afford. After many appointments with an amazing mortgage broker (if you're in the Calgary area and are looking for one, PM me), and three house walkthroughs with a great real-estate agent in Didsbury, we bought our townhouse in a small town about 45 minutes out of Calgary called Didsbury. It was a stressful couple of months, but we made it through and now are homeowners!

It doesn't look like much outside, but inside is nice!

I love the colours we chose!

Don't move with kids if you don't have to. For the love of all things good in this world, if you value your sanity, don't do it. Thankfully, Cy's mother came up to Calgary to help us with the boys while we took care of preparing for the move. I don't think we could have done it without her. Thanks to her helping watch the boys, we were able to paint our entire main floor and the boys' room over a weekend.

In addition to Cy's mom helping, Cy's best friend flew in to visit and help us with the actual move when the time came. With the three of us, we managed to move everything over the course of a weekend.

I am SO thankful for the help that we had in this whole process, without which we probably wouldn't have our own place.

Complications ("It can always get worse!")
Granted, we have our own house now, but up until a week ago we were still tethered to our rental property lease. This was because we broke our lease early, and according to our contract we were responsible for the rent until a new tenant was found. That meant that we were paying our mortgage and rent. It was a very tough and tight couple of months, but thanks to the help of family and really scrimping, we made it through okay. It didn't help that our landlord was emailing us once or twice a week about getting stuff done at the old place that we just couldn't afford at the time.

Before we moved, we found out, in a frightening allergic reaction that resulted in a trip to Calgary Children's Hospital, that Edgar is allergic to peanuts. He now has an epi-pen and we are a peanut-free house.

Our dryer broke on its very first cycle. After taking a look inside and trying to see if we could fix it, we found a replacement from Trail Appliances that was last year's model. We picked it up ourselves and carefully brought it down into the basement on our own.

Edgar has been sick a few times since starting daycare. We expected that. One illness lasted almost 2 weeks and needed antibiotics. He even now has a cold. Both boys are teething.

Cy broke his left middle finger while breaking down a boxspring mattress at the rental property. It should be healed in about 4-5 weeks and then he'll have to do physio for it.

Our van wouldn't start one weekend at the beginning of September. Thankfully, Cy figured out what the problem was and it was a cheap fix. It's working now, but at the time it really wasn't helping our stress level.

I ordered cheques at the the bank so I could pay for Edgar's daycare. The bank made cheques for the incorrect bank account. I didn't find out until the daycare tried to deposit a cheque. I've resolved the issue with the daycare director, who was super understanding, but I still need to go in and correct the cheques issue itself.

We found mouse droppings in our kitchen four days ago. We're working on sealing everything up and we even managed to trap one of the mice (possibly the only one, though) last night. So much bleach is being used right now. So much. I'm really hoping we get this resolved as soon as possible.

All these things led to our new motto: "It can always get worse!"

I think going through all of this has really mellowed us out. Yes, there were arguments. Yes, there were days and weeks we were so stressed out that we were doubting our decision to buy our townhouse. Yes, there were times when we weren't sure if we were going to be okay. We made it, though, with the help of family and friends. This whole ordeal has taught us not to be afraid to ask for help, and that sometimes all you can do is laugh as things get worse. It's impossible to survive if we let everything get to us. What we have is what we have, and it can always, always, get worse. We are thankful that it isn't worse.

Life with Two Under Two
It's busy. It's hectic. It's boring at times because of routine. It's sanity-sapping and joy-inducing. I wouldn't change it for anything. Arthur is now crawling and pulling himself up. He's always observing and curious. He's a bit of a quiet guy and doesn't babble much, but that's okay. Edgar talks enough for the both of them. Since starting daycare two days a week, Edgar has developmentally exploded. He talks in short sentences and loves to do things himself. He loves doing puzzles and painting, and is even starting to learn his ABCs! They play together when they're both home and now share their bedroom.

Arthur is still breastfeeding for most of his nutrition. His first taste of solids was actually a Goldfish cracker on the floor that Edgar had dropped moments prior. So much for that! Haha. Edgar is starting to become a bit of a picky eater, something that has been pretty frustrating. We're working through it, though, and there is a seminar on picking eating coming up at the local healthcare centre that I plan to attend.

Cyrus and I are doing as well as can be expected throughout the past few months. We've now been together for 7 years and are looking forward to many more. The small town with no fast food and great walkability, as well as the financial scrimping we had to do the last few months, meant that we were eating a lot healthier and were much more active than before. Thanks to that, we both lost weight. I lost 8 lbs, and Cy lost 9 lbs (but he gained back 6 of those). My joint pain is almost completely gone, and we are enjoying being a lot more active now than we were in Calgary. Small-town life suits us.

My sister welcomed her firstborn son into the world at the end of August. He's a total cutie and I'm SO looking forward to all of the boys playing together once he gets a little older. It's going to be a blast! I'm so insanely proud of her and her fiance, and the great job they're doing.

Well, that's our life right now. That's what we've been going through the past few months. Next up will be our trip to Vancouver for Thanksgiving! Here's hoping everything gets better from here!