Guest Post: My Nephew's Birth Story!

My sister, Kaitlyn, gave birth to her little not-so-little boy back in August, and approached me the other day to share her birth story. And of course I said YES! I am delighted to present to you: Anders' Birth Story.



Kaitlyn:

I thought I should write down Anders' birth story so I could look back and remember everything in detail or as much detail as I can remember! This is my account of how things went; there are moments that seem hazy but I'm sure if you ask my mom or Chris they will gladly fill in the blanks! I was a little hesitant to share my experience just because people can be judgmental and it was quite traumatic for me. I recently felt empowered from it and have seen the beauty in the pain.

Shall we begin at 41 weeks?

Yes, I went past my due date, surprise surprise! We had lots of wonderful visitors from B.C., my mom included. We spent the last few weeks walking, walking, and walking some more. I think I walked more those last few weeks than my entire life. When we went for my last prenatal check up I was still only 1 cm dilated. I was quite disappointed and VERY big. Chris and I made the decision to be induced.

On August 25th I went in for a Foley Bulb. If you have never heard of this or experienced it, you are extremely fortunate. Let's just say it's the epitome of uncomfortable. I was scheduled to return the following morning to begin pitocin and have my water broken if things did not progress. However that pleasant little balloon did its job and at 7:30pm that night my contractions began.

At around 2am they were 4-5 minutes apart and a trickle of my water had begun. We headed out to the hospital! We laugh about it now but I had asked my mom if this is what it would feel like for the most part. Bless her heart, she lied and said yes.

Chris drove, missing every pothole and bump. When we arrived at the hospital, I was still only 3 cm dilated. The doctor told me to go home and wait till I felt more pressure. The nurse however said to walk around the hospital for a while and see how things go. I seriously love my family; I walked slowly around the hospital followed by my support group: Chris, my mom, Chris' mom, Aunty Tammy, and Jessica at 3am!

Only 30 minutes later I was back upstairs. Thank goodness I hadn't gone home. I guess everyone was really busy last winter because it was packed in there! I spent from 4am – noon the following day in triage. My contractions were very close together from the get go and it really all seems like a haze. The only thing that kept me in the zone was focusing on my breathing. My very, very loud breathing. The hardest part of having a hospital birth was being in the triage area waiting for a room. I was only allowed one of my support people which meant my mom was left out in the waiting room not really knowing what was going on. At one point my mom snuck in... only to get caught and sent back out.

Finally, at noon I got a room! It was my little oasis in this sea of madness! I labored for 6 more hours, again my contractions basically on top of each other. Chris was wonderful and stayed with me the whole time massaging my back. His poor fingers... and I'm not being sarcastic! It was a very long time and he was pressing pretty hard. Before going into labour I had made up my mind to go into giving birth with an open mind. If I needed pain medication great if I didn't great! I tried some gas which only made me feel light headed. Then after a few more hours I asked for something else, they gave me some fentanyl which only made me sleepy. At this point I would faze out, wake up have a contraction, faze out, have a contraction. I felt like Goldilocks, I needed to find some pain relief that was just right.

At this point I was feeling the urge to push however I was only 7 cm dilated. That was pure hell. It was hard to focus and fighting the urge to push was horrendous. I can't even find the words to describe it. If you have gone through it, you know what I'm talking about ladies! I caved and asked for an epidural. Hallelujah! Best decision of my life right there! Shortly after I fell asleep and napped for what felt like 2 hours.

When I woke up and said this to my mom she laughed and said I was asleep for 15 minutes. I felt like I was in some crazy time warp.

I was finally able to focus again! It was a shift change time for my team and I got a new nurse and doctor. I went to a maternity clinic with a doctor rotation. Over the course of my pregnancy, I had met all the doctors and they all worked in shifts at the hospital. We're at about an hour later and it's time to push! I honestly felt like I was pushing for only 15 minutes but really it was 2 hours. Again, crazy labour time warp. Nothing, nothing, prepares you for that ring of fire. Oh my word! I actually really enjoyed the pushing part of labour though. It was the home stretch. Where I could really focus and work at bringing my beautiful baby into this world. My mom was a great focus point. She really helped with the counting and keeping me in the zone. I feel so blessed I was able to have her there.

This is where things get scary. I remember things being okay and then all of sudden they weren't. It's hard to describe. Apparently, a code was called. The doctor yelled "shoulders!" Chris thought this meant grab my shoulders so he pinned my shoulders down. The room filled with people! People were yelling at me to push, nurses were pushing on my stomach, the doctor was working her magic and finally he was out!

Silence.

That's all I heard, the silence was burning my ears. The nurses started telling me I did amazing, I did my best. What did that mean? I remember asking if he was okay.

Finally cries! My baby was okay. His shoulder had gotten stuck, hence "shoulders" being called. The nurses checked him out and finally after what seemed like forever I was able to meet my baby.

My 9 lbs, 52.5 cm, perfect baby boy.

My heart will never be the same. The unconditional love is just indescribable. He was having some trouble breathing and because I had been in labour for over 24 hours after my water breaking he had to be taken to the NICU. They also noticed he had a coloboma. I think it looks pretty sweet and it makes him very unique. We recently went to an ophthalmologist and it does not affect his eye sight at all!

I truly believe everything happens the exact way it is supposed to. The doctor I had after the shift change had worked in the Yukon and was very experienced in emergency situations. The nurse we had was amazing! She insisted that the NICU team be present when he was delivered because I had been given fentanyl. The NICU team being there was key in safely delivering Anders. The nurse was very calm yet assertive when Anders got stuck.

This definitely wasn't how I had imagined my labour experience to go but I honestly wouldn't change a thing. 26.5 hours later I had my beautiful healthy baby and that is all that matters. I am forever changed. I truly love being a mom.

2015: A Full Year

What can I say about this past year? What words could I use to contain its breadth? When I think about this past year, I feel a rush of images in my mind, both positive and negative. None of them are forgettable. Our running motto has been "It could always get worse!"

I started off 2015 heavily pregnant. We didn't know the sex of our baby, and were delighted when our Arthur made his appearance in February. As the delight and newness began to sink in, however, something more painful took hold.

Within 2 weeks after Arthur's birth, I was so anxious that I was shoulder-checking in our own house. I was crying constantly because of anxiety, worry, and intrusive thoughts. I had post-partum depression and anxiety. I had been so terrified of this scenario, and I had thought that succeeding in establishing breastfeeding would have prevented it from happening. Not so. A month or so later, my referral went through and I saw a psychiatrist for the first time in 8 years. I was officially diagnosed and began medication and counselling. It was not until Arthur was about 6 months old that I finally started to feel like I was bonding with him and began to feel more like myself for the first time in ages. I have since wrapped up counselling and am still on medication for the moment.

I've had to learn the art of self-care and taking time to focus on myself. It's not selfish. In fact, it's the opposite; by making sure that I take the time to care for myself, I am ensuring that I can have the mental and emotional resources to care for my boys. I learned to accept my past and to face memories that I had buried away. I learned that it's okay to be angry; there are some things that are wrong. I learned that it's okay to say that I'm not okay, and that admitting that I'm not okay is the first step to making things better.

During the time around my first psychiatrist appointment, the source of my joint pain was finally diagnosed as joint hypermobility syndrome. I started physiotherapy and began to see my daily pain level reduce to next to nothing. I had my very first pain-free day in 6 years. I feel amazing, and have been losing weight thanks to the more active lifestyle I'm now able to have.

Another change that helped us to have a more active lifestyle is our move to Didsbury. In July, we bought our very first house. It is a 3-bedroom townhouse with a full unfinished basement. It's not perfect, but it got us into the housing market and out of renting. Didsbury's only "fast food" restaurant is a single Tim Hortons. There's no late-night food options other than cooking at home. Everything is within walking distance of our house. There's a 5km trail loop only an 8-minute walk from our house. The air out here is noticeably more clear, and there's a simple kind of beauty in farmland.

That being said, it hasn't all been rosy in our new house. There's been some annoyances along the way. We had our dryer break down the very first cycle we tried to dry! We had a mouse. Twice. Our minivan stopped working briefly, but it was an easy fix. Cy broke his finger. Our fridge recently stopped working and we're waiting on a replacement part to arrive. Small things, really, in the grand scheme of things.

I picked up quilting. It's been a steep learning curve, but I really enjoy it in my little bit of free time that I do have.

In August, Edgar started daycare here in Didsbury. He's loving it and I get a chance to take care of housework and coursework during the 2 days that he's having an absolute blast at daycare.

Thanksgiving was spent back in Vancouver. The trip was a perfect balance of seeing family and making sure to rest in-between. We drove. Yes, we did a 13-hour road trip with 2 boys under 2 years old. It actually wasn't too bad of a drive, and the boys slept a decent amount of the time because we left extremely early in the morning. I loved seeing friends and family again, and I feel like it helped to ground me in preparation for the next couple of months ahead.

In November, I started the first course in SAIT's Library Information Technology diploma program. The course wraps up in February, and so far I am acing it. Literally. I have only lost a little over 2% total from my final mark and only have my final exam and final assignment to go. It seems that I have finally found my career calling, and I'm loving the outlook for the future it's given me. I started off in the part-time program, and in Fall 2016 I will be switching to the full-time program to which I was recently accepted.

This year also had a couple health scares for the boys. Edgar had his very first allergic reaction to peanuts in June. After allergy testing, it was determined that his next reaction from ingesting peanuts would likely be anaphylactic. He now carries an epipen everywhere he goes. We are now a peanut-free household. Arthur had a 10-minute long febrile seizure in November. The initial fever was caused by a childhood illness called roseola and he recovered just fine after a short stay at Alberta Children's Hospital. While his EEG was normal, we do have to keep a close eye on him any time that he develops a fever from now on. Because he was so young and he seized for so long, the probability of him having another febrile seizure before he turns 5 years old is 40% or higher if he has a fever spike. Thankfully, febrile seizures do not do damage to the developing brain, and even one of the amazing doctors that treated him at ACH had them as a child!

The Fall months were spent with all of us in varying degrees of illness. Whether it was ear infections, strep throat, colds, or random stomach bugs... we got all of it. Kids are such germ factories! We were all sick and miserable at points, but thank goodness that it all was fleeting.

Christmas this year was a quiet affair for us. Kait, Chris, and Anders had gone back to Vancouver for Christmas, so it was just us in town. The boys received presents from family and a few small ones from us. I made them sort of matching quilts. We didn't go anywhere, and had a quiet day at home with just the boys and us.

Our motto this year, whenever things were going wrong, was "It could always get worse!" Yes, yes it can. Things can always get better, and that's okay. Things can also always get worse. We aren't super well-off, and we don't live like kings, but we have a house and our boys and each other. That's more than a lot of people have. We have friends and family who have supported and encouraged us in the difficult times this past year. We now own a house and are slowly paying down debt. We have two beautiful boys. Marriage takes work, but at the end of the day I am married to my best friend. We still laugh about stupid things together.

What does 2016 have in store for us? Well, there are lots of things to look forward to:

• Finishing my first course at the end of January and starting my next couple of courses in March
• Another Vancouver trip at the beginning of February
• Arthur's first birthday
• Our 4th wedding anniversary
• Two weddings
• Friends expecting new little ones
• Starting full-time courses in Fall
• Edgar turning three in November
• Potty training Edgar at some point
• Arthur starting to learn to talk this year

2015 has left me refreshed, renewed, and ready to take on the world.

Bring it on, 2016. 

Arthur's Calm but Quick Arrival

I woke up the morning of February 8th at 39+6 weeks. I'd been contracting on and off all through the night, but nothing too close together or consistent.

For the past week or so, I'd been having cramping and mild contractions on and off, and two episodes of prodromal labour. At my midwife appointment at 39+3, I was offered a membrane sweep, which I gladly agreed to, but I couldn't tolerate it and she was only able to do about half of it. I went home feeling a bit dejected and cramping. As the next few days went by, I started cramping more and more but didn't let myself get too excited. After all, my first didn't decide to arrive until 40+5 after 3 sweeps and a castor oil and lemon verbena "induction".

The cramps started turning into contractions throughout the night of February 7th, and when I woke up on the 8th they were definitely contractions. I went to do my morning business and when I wiped I had bloody show. Sweet! I told Cy that we were "probably going to meet our baby today" and then hopped into the shower. I took a hot shower to take the edge off of the contractions and get clean. In hindsight, this was not such a great idea.

My MIL had flown in the previous week to help us with Edgar (my first son), and I'm so glad she did because Edgar was fighting a fever and cough that ended up being croup. I came downstairs to cuddle with Edgar between timing contractions, but soon it became evident that they are about 7-10 minutes apart. Because Edgar's birth was also quick, I had been instructed to call when the contractions were at that point. So, I pried my son off of me and went upstairs. I told Cy to prep our room and called my midwife at 9:40 am. She offered to come over and check me, and she was over in about 30 minutes.

When she arrived, she checked my dilation...

I was already 7 cm and fully effaced!

We were all shocked. I think I was most of all, as I had been coping just as well add I did with Edgar's birth, breathing through contractions and not even vocalizing. Again, I didn't want or need anyone touching me or talking/making noise during contractions. I did, however, finally use that playlist that I had made for my labour with Edgar and listened to some calm music.

Because we didn't know exactly when I hit 5 cm, my official labour start time is when I first called my midwife. Not long after, the student midwife arrived. Over the next 2 hours, my contractions became closer and closer together until they were 2 minutes apart. At that point, my midwife called the secondary midwife to start making her way over. She arrived not long after. My membranes had still not ruptured, but my body was progressing nicely. My midwife offered to rupture my membranes, but cautioned me that the labour would likely become very intense soon after. I declined.

During this time, Cy was filling the birth pool. The hot water ended up running out thanks to my aforementioned shower, so he was going up and down the stairs bringing in boiled water to warm it up. My contractions were starting to come with more pressure, and I switched from sitting on my bed to standing and rocking back and forth. Finally, the pool was warm enough for me to get in. It was such relief to be in the water, but my contractions were getting more and more intense. My midwife checked my dilation and I was almost fully dilated; enough so that I could go ahead and push if my body was urging me to do so. There was only that little lip of cervix left, just like with Edgar's birth.

I labored a little while longer, while Cy was boiling one last pot of water to bring up. Suddenly, I felt immense pressure and my membranes broke. Instantly, baby was well down the birth canal. I told the midwives to get Cy immediately, and the secondary midwife rushed down to call him upstairs. He stated to rush up, but then remembered the towels and receiving blankets we had put in the dryer to warm up for baby and rushed back to grab them.

My body began to push involuntarily and within one push baby's head was out. Cy rushed in with the towels the moment that baby was crowning and my midwife was telling me to stop pushing. It was so hard to fight my body from pushing, but I managed to hold on long enough for her to check and make sure that the cord wasn't around baby's neck. We waited for the next contraction and my body again involuntarily pushed... and our baby was born!

We didn't find out the sex of our baby before, and I had wanted Cy to say what it was, but because he had rushed in he wasn't at a good angle to see. Instead, he told me to take a look...

Another boy!

Arthur Lewis Lee was born at 1:07pm weighing 9 lbs 7 oz and 22 inches long after only 3 hours and 42 minutes of labour and two pushes!

He felt so small compared to Edgar (who was 10 lbs 11oz), but he still weighed in at what is considered to be a macrosomic weight (larger than most babies in common language). Because he came so quickly, I did have a small tear, barely even second degree, and my midwife stitched it up moreso for cosmetic reasons than absolute necessity. Breastfeeding is going OK so far. My milk came in around day 4, and I fought with an oversupply as well as Arthur's tongue tie that was clipped at 9 days old. Other than that, things are going relatively well. We're enjoying our two boys for now and are settling in nicely.