Sometimes, when I look at my son...
... I am filled with joy. I cannot help but smile and laugh at the faces and sounds he makes. Even when he's crying or misbehaving, he is too adorable for me to hold it in at times.
Sometimes, when I look at my son...
... I am filled with pride. He is growing so fast and changing in ways that amaze me each and every day. I cannot wait to witness the person he becomes someday.
Sometimes, when I look at my son...
... I am filled with frustration. Without words, it is so difficult to know exactly what he wants and needs, and my instincts push me to try to figure it out. He is such a little person and yet such a strong, forceful, little man at times.
Sometimes, when I look at my son...
... I am filled with grief. There are people in my life that have passed and I wish so deeply that they could have lived to meet my son and see how much he has touched my life.
Sometimes, when I look at my son...
... I am filled with sadness. Someday, we will have to leave each other. While I wish that he lives long after I pass, I know he will have to someday go through the pain of losing his mother and father, and that I will not be there to comfort him when I am gone.
Sometimes, when I look at my son...
... I am filled with a sense of deja vu. I cannot help but feel that, at some other time and some other place, we have met before. I have been told before I am an "old soul", and some have told me that my son is as well. It may sound strange, but part of me just feels that we have done this all before.
Sometimes, when I look at my son...
... I am filled with a sense of belonging. Mothers have done this over and over many years before me. My own great-grandmother, grandmother, and mother have each held their own firstborn and looked down at him or her with love and the same emotions that I feel now.
Every time, when I look at my son...
... I am filled with love. Love so deep I wonder at how I could ever have lived without his little hands in mine. How I could have ever lived without his toothless smile that is given without reservation at even the smallest of things. How I could have ever lived without this amazing responsibility that challenges me every day to become a stronger, more rounded person every day.
Every time, when I look at my son...
... I feel like a mother.
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